The Game Theorist, I

What is love? A woman asked me once. ‘How would you define love’ she said.

I told her love is when you find yourself a random finite game with a given set of rules, a given objective and yet subconsciously choose to make it your infinite game.
When you are able to look at what you love, whom you love and say that nothing else matters.

That Mademoiselle, is precisely when you would have known that you have loved.


Little boy Al , I

Albert is a graduate, unemployed… and very very lost. While working day jobs, he writes three decent papers with the help of his physicist wife from a small studio room in downtown Berlin. Fortunes knock on the happy door and a 25 year old Albert would walk out through that door to embark on one of the longest journeys anyone his age ever indulged in across the history of time.

The next 11 years Albert would struggle with a single set of equations that would later be known as general relativity. A Theory that describes gravity as curvature in spacetime. It would be an instance in time when God himself would look down as one of his deepest secrets about nature fall into the mind of a meagre man. One that had learned to fly this far beyond.
His equations in GR is still unanimously considered the most beautiful equations ever written by a man.

Albert is big now, he has a nobel prize, a new wife, lots of curious listeners and enough witty one-liners. Not all of everyone understood Albert’s ideas but Albert doesn’t mind, Albert is happy. Every once in a while he would smoke his pipe, screw with his secretary and curse Hitler along various philosophical lines.

Europe was soon at war and mankind would be hitting an all time low at average intelligence. Little did Albert know that one of his old equations from a much more innocent time would someday destroy two cities and millions of lives. And also there by, end the great war.

Times aren’t as turbulent anymore. People have gone back to find their respective homes somewhere in the ruins, trying to find their old lives. Albert these days would find himself in an array of thoughts in a much more distant dream and perhaps the most poetic one at that so far. Albert wants to know if there could be a place like that in one’s understanding, the fundamental grounds, a single place from where one could see all of reality emerge and evolve in a consistent way. Albert now wanted to bring his ideas of gravity and electromagnetism together as different faces of a much deeper underlying thing. Albert now, was after ‘everything’.

Years pass by and Albert is old now. He is divorced, one of his sons went mad, he is now an important person with important opinions. Most of his time he would spend travelling to obscure places, looking to support moral causes and foreign women. He has as shattered a life as any celebrity could dream of. Celebrities are like us, they look for people who could resonate with their stories, validate their existence… sooner or later that’s what you look for. A lime lit Shakespearean tragedy, juicy enough for people to come, shed tears and clap on.

Albert would spend most of this time of his life in hotel rooms, naked in sun kissed clouds of Turkish tobacco, sharing orgasms with people whose names he couldn’t properly pronounce. In his mind however, he would be roaming around in various blind alleys of what would later be known as ‘the theory of everything’.

Albert would often find himself in dark corners of self doubt. Time had taken it’s toll on the old man. He would feel he isn’t as good as he once was. His ideas don’t have that fire. That zeal. He is knowledgeable, sure but he was never looking for knowledge in the first place. Albert had known something that very few men over time had… of how it is like to be at the very edge of human knowledge, human understanding. Of how it is like to watch nature reveal herself in naked, and you to be the first of your species to whom she would confide in. He had known a high as a child that many didn’t even know existed. Old Albert would spend the rest of his life looking for the high that he had once known as a curious child.

For the next 30 years, Albert spent his life in deserted islands of human thoughts. Almost a ghost that roamed around in the halls, looking for a truth that didn’t exist. And one fine day, he would have his breakfast, scribble a few equations, share a few good words with the maid who later in the evening, discovered him dead in his chair.

Albert had passed away in silence in a casual moment of nature’s time. We would perhaps never know what his last words could have been, what was the entire point of his life? Where was the struggle, what was he after, what was the purpose?
Was he looking for acclaim, respect, luxury, love… ?

The answer to all of it is no.
The entire time, all Albert looked for was joy.

Find what gives you joy in life. Don’t let go of those dreams just yet. Be like Albert.

Be an Einstein.

Sayings, I

It is a conflict between two laws you see, on one hand the world should reside in its absolute ground state where there is peace and love and everything’s quiet…

And on the other hand you always have the possibility of having more disorder and she coming over, screaming and blowing up.

And why? just because she has many different dumb ways to blow up and I have only one way to be silent.

The world works in dumb ways I tell you.

Letters to Preeti, I

Dear Preeti
How have you been? I will take this opportunity to let you know that I have decided to write letters to you. So this is nothing more than a self aware letter announcing it’s existence to a little piece of spacetime, an island in reality, that’s called Preeti.

We are very lenient in terms of classes. The teacher writes and the student gets to nod her head. If an idea seemed too much in the air, the student thinks, she gets curious , wanders away through her windows and coconut trees. Sometimes for real before Skype.

Before I take you to the place, I must tell you about the place a bit more. The place is real. The ideas are true. The intentions are innocent. And the purposes are none. Some of the land is only fertile in letting dolphins fly out in dreams. But the narrator would be logically consistent about it.

I want you to notice how the laws of this world are spontaneous. They have a way of being true on their own. It’s almost as if they would have been true had you paid attention. Like an old man looking at a painting, that comes alive on its own and then the old man gets to scratch his bald of about no hair and feel wise.

The Only thing is you and me and all that we are, are in the painting.

Notice how the idea of truth has a taste of singularity to it. The physicist takes off his hat and sees the dynamics. There is a pattern, the painting evolves and changes but according to it’s own rules.
Because you, me and all of everything behind your backyard is inside the painting, we find in the rules a sense of realization.The bond is when you say, ‘Huh.. Why else wouldn’t it be this.’

The place is an abstract of course and the thoughts I am afraid are suffering of one-sidedness. I miss your shaky head Preeti and the occasional signs of assurances. And of course, the lack of resonance. You see now, that’s all people are trying to do, find relevant frequencies in their 1980s dabba like radios, pointing them to each other in marconi style. Our reality is sad Preeti. Sad in funny ways.

But anyway, since you have tuned in and come this far downtown, let me show you the first place we will park camp. It’s Newton 1675, an apple and a very outrageous thought.

One that explained everything. Almost.

Until Next time,

From the Troubled Chapters with Roma

To My Coconut laden lady in Haste.

QM in a nutshell

The mathematics of probabilities that one encounters in the classical realm is too uninspired to include the idea of indistinctness.

And when it did, it turned out indistinct alternatives interfere.
The interference terms were beyond questioning because it talks about how certain alternatives happened together indistinctly.

Momentum on the other hand is defined as the quantity that is conserved under translational symmetry.

In a quantum context this could mean the span of states that are indistinguishable in terms of momentum and should add up in a complex space is spanned by the position space as a parameter.
In simpler terms, much less stringent, a momentum state is invariant with respect to position.

Classical mechanics involves seeing the world evolve in a phase space that spans (x,p). Instead we move to a Hibbert space where x and p are not defined together but in dual representations of either x states or p states where the geometry has every p state as the summation of x states and vice versa in order to incorporate the indistinctness under translational invariance.

The question one could raise at this point is what about a system that doesn’t have translational invariance but has a particle in a potential.
The confusion arises due to two reasons; we are interested in the symmetry of the relevant states and how they are defined rather than the symmetry of the system. The second being the fact that we do not measure Hamiltonians or Langrangians, all we measure are momentums and positions.

The reasonable way to see if a system has translational symmetry or not is to set a particle in its momentum state free and see if the translational symmetry is maintained throughout the dynamics. In a potential as time unfolds multiple momentum states would be excited and the reality would be an interference but each of those states would still have an underlying translational invariance.
The problem was in understanding this underlying symmetry and its connection to how the corresponding states are defined.

The rest of the formulation is simply driven by the intention to incorporate uncertainty. Observables are elevated to operators so that some of them donot commute and hence cannot share the same eigenfunctions. The picture is only capable of predicting certain quantities exactly while the rest are determined in expectation values to varying degrees of (un)certainty.

Everything else in classical mechanics regarding generators of transformations, the relations amongst them in terms of expectation values go through. While that leads to the formulation based on canonical quantization, Feynman’s path integrals is a rigorous description of the dynmaics of a system taking into account the indistinctness of the paths chosen (or rather taken) by nature.

The authors also wish to notify that even though the discussion has been done in the language of (x,p)-uncertainty, the theme of the analysis works in a much broader perspective. An energy state represented by a stationary solution represents how the probabilities are independent of time and how under time translation the dynamics stays invariant. We are incapable of guessing the point of time by looking at the dynamics.

Even degeneracy that arises in systems that have certain symmetries have a resultant eigenstate as the superposition of all the possible indistinct states that span the degenerate plane due to the underlying symmetry.

Our work tries to reflect how quantum mechanics is a description of an otherwise classical world with an added understanding of indistinctness and how it arises in the context of symmetries.

This work is a manifestation of an obsessive curiosity in the respective writers to explore the connections amongst certain key ideas that work at the very heart of quantum mechanics, some of which are completely absent in classical mechanics. The idea was to realize what exactly it is that is wrong in classical mechanics and how it is being modified to imitate nature and her reality in a more effective way. One of the writers also wishes to thank his mother and her persistent queries regarding understanding quantum mechanics.

17 miles and a half , I

The corridor was long enough to see all the way till the end. You would walk it down to your flat. On the way you would be in your thoughts. In one of those corners where the wind, if sultry the weather was warm. If the sounds made sense some time, the conversations got even more indifferent.

He sat in one corner of his prison cell of a flat, okay may be a bit more upper middle class than that. And sketched up some goofy face of a guy.
She brought coffee from a nearby place.

That morning was particularly one of the better ones, he thought. The breakfasts need to get crunchier, she thought. After a lazy coffee they did it again.

Later she would think again of what he said during breakfast. She loved the deeper conversations even though down the long corridor, towards the end he still always seemed indifferent. One of those emptier qualities that girls of a certain kind like, she thought. Is that true, is she really a kind?

She had pretty eyes, he thought. And an ass that could kill an entire Latin american tribe. But she was definitely one of the quieter ones he had met. Funny when two quiet people fall for each other. Things are said in phrases in ways other than words. You pick up a hint there, she gets all the blind spots in every corner. She often seemed mysterious to him. But the mornings weren’t as curious usually. Most mornings in this planet are spent finding your good old head back. Somewhere on the edge of the darker side of the earth, a diameter of people get up and yawn and go back to sleep to get up again, It’s a wave that keeps going round the earth every twenty-four hours.

Whats with the grin on all the faces.
They go well with bored faces.

And why are they bored.
‘Cause that’s what comes out of my fingers these days. The season of bored faces.
‘Come around, it’s all improvised.’

He looked dumb while saying that, she thought. With his coffee hand doing an over eager cheers at the window. But she laughed anyway. He looked at her carefully every time she did that. This was one of the better mornings, he thought.

Dear Preeti

I forgot to tell you about this crash course into a company job that I did in the middle. Fellow stranger in the cafe. One day ended up right in the middle of a familiar circle. I suppose that says a lot about the guy.

First talk we had was me getting offered and also hired. I had absolutely no say in the middle. Three hours later I was wondering ‘did that guy just hire me.’

Anyways I moved from a versatile applicant to a content writer to us writing an article together on friendship to absolutely nowhere. His idea, my words but my words were too brilliant, guy went and ripped every line. He did mention he loved it.

Towards the end he did a psycho fucking analysis on me and we departed with smiles. Three days later he quit his job too.
Today he has a new company and he is sitting right next to me, interviewing another chick. Chick is trying to pull off this crazy versatile gig on him and he is doing a very strong psychoanalysis of her. Two fat people and an interesting collision. The evening’s colored around here. How about you?

Are you liking it there. Are you getting to learn. Have you made new friends. How is old Calicut doing. And yes! Take strolls outside the campus. Perhaps while you run. Calicut is green in its most natural and there are hills everywhere. You will hit very good points for sightseeing during your run. Explore a bit deeper. Run amongst the local lanes, amidst the local houses and you will meet weird ends. A deep ditch full of banana plants, a valley into another hill. I used to get away during sunset. Do that. Get away. I want to know what you find.

But wait. You are a girl. o.O

Naah, you are strong and scary.
I am sure you will be fine.

Anyways, I will go now. Hope you are having a lovely time.

Your troubled troublemaker troublesome friend


Wasps, Viruses and Chickens

I was down with viral for 4 days. And after 4 tired pain in the ass days, dad decided to help and sent me a BSF patient of his. Little tiny fucker. Growing up I was always scared of dad’s patients. Dad’s a psychiatrist. Most of them were mad.

So this guy got me some meds and a plate of indian chicken beeriyani. 5th day, my fever was almost done, I looked at that giant juicy leg piece like an angel dangling one of her naked legs down from the sky, you know.. with a very subtle twitch to the ass , screaming out to be saved.
So yeah, I was all onto her.

And now I am here. In a public washroom of a lesser known part of the town. Contemplating my last 15 days. First I get bit by a wasp and move around with a finger the size of a chipmunk. Then I get viral. And when that got over, I got stuck with a  fuckin’ chicken that doesn’t want to let go.

So that’s what my days been lately colored with.
Wasps, Viruses. And sad fuckin’ chickens.
What about you?


Vats: What the.. what literal value this could possibly have.
None. I am being silly in between beautiful phrases. It’s fun. 


This and that

This was when Sid thought his life’s narration was sounding like an extended note of a sad dissonant song. When all the attempts at escapism had finally succeeded to make him absolutely irrelevant. Sid wanted to get lost and this time around, Sid did get lost.

Often times he would find himself caught in irrelevant defensive monologues. Almost like a sad play written by a drunk poet in his yellow shark underwears.

Often times he would wonder why his humor has gotten this black. Tastes like black coffee on a Sunday morning. Sunday mornings are supposed to blow like trumpets in your snores. Sunday mornings are supposed to be about scratching your morning boner and let it do the thinking for you.  Why let coffee take all that away.. yeah?

Sid would come to know this far after the train had left the town. That all his excuses of sneaking away had failed at keeping the secret. Often times Sid would feel like a spy sent into foreign land. With a plan that got cancelled and him left stranded in between. With a fake identity and an  existential crisis on top of it.

Are you using it as a crutch for you to stay afloat?
‘I was’, said Sid. ‘Now I am looking at the fireworks.’


Let’s just talk, I

Words are exciting. The fact that I could scribble something here and you could taste them on the other side, in a mind of your own and see what I saw well somewhat similar anyway, that never existed in the first place  is  exciting.

Sooner or later though, a voice would raise its squeaky head and go, ‘But Chitro! You need a story. A plot. Something along which things can happen. Things need to happen, Chitro!’. And I would be like ‘oh shut up’.

Things haven’t happened in a long time you know. Real life, reality as we know it are nothing but boring islands in time. You hit one and you go, ‘So where are the coconuts falling!’ But coconuts… coconuts don’t fall. Fuckers are lazy. 

‘Do you wanna climb the tree Johnny.’ ‘

Naah… let’s just wait for them to fall.’ 

See that. Dumb island boys.

I suppose most of the time the dynamics is in words. The things you say, the people I get to meet while you discuss them, the places I take you that I never got to paint before.

There’s never really any real plot. Its just me trying to live in different storylines inside your mind while being stuck in another one that’s equally boring. Do you feel the escapism there. I suppose I will always be a confused soul.

One that got stuck in an old bridge, that rocks somewhere in between static visuals of large wide spaces that kick starts its brain and of course, elaborate words that go nowhere but then again, don’t you love  following them anyway.

In terms of my semi professional fooling around with words, I think I will peak as an individual the day I get to say,

‘John Snow stole my chicken’

and make some form of sense down the line. That’s the other thing isn’t it. Words are full of possibilities.